Ethics Commission Fines Bruce Parrott 233 Tacos

Best Tacos So Far: Tacos El Guero, 4500 Bryan Street

It's the end of a long journey through the Texas Ethics Commission's complaint process for Dallas School Board Trustee Bruce Parrott.

Last Fall, I complained to the Commission that Bruce failed to turn in a campaign finance report--and that there were some technical issues with the report he filed.

A technical violation of Texas Election laws. A "parking ticket." Big fat hairy deal. Just pay the fine and be done with it, right?

Not Bruce. In January, he told the Dallas morning News that he'd beaten the rap. This Spring, Bruce reportedly had Texas Ethics Commissioner Jim Graham in his back pocket. Things weren't looking good for my complaint.

But in end it did him no good. According to Bruce his "fine was so small one could have bought tacos at a taco bell and still had money left over…"

So the verdict is in: $200 or 233 tacos with 74 cents left over, after tax, assuming Bruce bought the cheapest tacos on Taco Bell's menu--the Crispy Potato Soft Taco.

But Bruce doesn't look very much like a Crispy Potato Soft Taco sort of guy, at least to me. Though I have never had tacos with Bruce (and I don't think I have to worry about doing so), he strikes me as more of a Double Decker Taco Supreme sort of guy like me (except I'm putting on weight and Bruce seems to be losing weight).

At $1.59+tax per taco, that's 107 tacos with 36 cents left over.

What, you thought we weren't going to check this out? Weren't going to do our homework?

He could buy 46 "Three Crunchy Soft Taco" Meals (with drink) and have 32 cents left over; 207 Beefy 5-Layer Burritos and have 57 cents left over; 155 "Volcano Tacos" with 33 cents left over!

All this talk of tacos has made me hungry and, let's face it, Taco Bell sucks. Well, sort-of unless you're really, really hungry.

So let's take a little time and explore tacos in Dallas. I've always wanted to do this anyway--Bruce notwithstanding. There have been a few places I've heard about and I love a good taco!

Geez. I'm supposed to be on a diet.

First up: Rusty Taco for breakfast...

Rusty Taco

Rusty Taco is located at Greenville and University in Dallas. The place used to be Just Brakes (remember the icky green/yellow building).

Well they've renovated the place. They've taken out the floor jacks, disposed of the spent brake fluid (at least I hope they've disposed of it), repainted and added a kitchen.

I ordered the "Jalapeno Sausage and Egg" taco and a large cup of coffee. With tax, that came to $3.79 (Bruce: 52 of 'em with $2.92 left over). Cooked to order.

The manager said "put some of the green sauce and some of the red sauce on them." After ensuring the two sauces were compatible (no chemical burns, etc.) I did.

In a word: excellent! Probably one of the best tacos I've ever had! I need to find out where they buy their jalapeno sausage.

The worst taco I've had, by the way, is from the taco bar at Souper Salads (Central and Park Lane). Taco shells were stale, meat was dry, overcooked. Even the cheese was, well, cheesy. One bite convinced me I should have gone with my nose.

Good 2 Go Tacos

It's 12:30 and I'm sitting here at the The Green Spot on Buckner at Northcliff thumbing through a well-used copy of "The Live Earth Global Warming Survival Handbook" while eating a King Ranch Casserole Taco and sipping an Oogave Root Beer served in an Earth-friendly compostable cup made from corn!

Funny, it doesn't look like corn.

In a word: phenomenal. A bit on the expensive side, but an excellent taco.

Good 2 Go Tacos is a little taco kitchen inside the Green Spot which, on the outside, appears to be a gas station. But it's much more on the inside. They have all sorts of tasty-looking, environmentally-friendly (or at least that's what the packaging says) snacks and all sorts of interesting people milling about, chatting and eating.

The Good 2 Go people tell me they have a new menu each day. Too bad because they also have a New Orleans style Andouille Sausage taco and I really want one of those too.

The cost: an Earth-friendly $5.19 including the drink (that's 38 of 'em for Bruce and $2.78 change).

Tacos El Guero

It's 8:30 and I just got back from dinner at Tacos El Guero. This place won an award from the Dallas Observer in 2009.

It is, hands down, the best taco I've had so far and a great cultural experience to boot (I was the only gringo in the place). Here's how it works: you order what you want and they keep bringing, and bringing you stuff. When you're done, you hand them $1.25. Fair enough?

Somewhere in there was chorizo and lengua (if you DON'T speak Spanish, don't look up the latter until after you've had it--trust me, it's delicious) along with a half-dozen other things. Like Rusty Taco, they have a red sauce and a green sauce that they tell you to use together.

OK, for Bruce that's an even 160 tacos; no change! They would be great as a cultural sensitivity gift for him and his Ridgewood Park parents who wanted their kids out of Dan D. Rogers Elementary!

OK, I'm stuffed and somehow I'm still craving more. I have a feeling I'm going to be a regular at that place.

The Taco Joint

Breakfast this morning was at The Taco Joint. Had their breakfast special: the Migas Taco which I basted in their Jalapeno Ranch dressing. Decent. Very decent.

The place was maybe 5 blocks away from Taco El Guero but quite a contrast in the clientele. It was full of doctors, young professionals, middle-aged professionals, older professionals and a couple of other dudes.

If I had to guess, I would guess it was a Baylor Hospital staff hangout.

The cost of the Migas Taco: $2.91 including tax--quite a bit more expensive than El Guero. As I say: very decent. But I still left craving a Taco El Guero taco. I'm on a diet so I didn't indulge.

Oh yeah, Bruce could buy 68 of them. $2.12 left over.

Taqueria El Si Hay

We had lunch at Taqueria El Si Hay. I say "we" because I decided to take a couple of colleagues.

This suggestion came from a City official buddy of mine (somebody really important). So we decided to check it out--and I wanted a jury. You know, anybody can say "ooh, this taco is good" or "ugh, this taco is bad" but when you have several people, there is some form of negotiation.

So if the tacos really sucked, I wanted to be able to tell my buddy: "hey, man, it wasn't me--it was these classless phrobs I was with!"

But as it turned out, my buddy was right: great tacos. Again, not quite as good as Tacos El Guero, but definitely a good taco. I still need to do some calculations because, in addition to buying my own taco, I had to buy all my colleagues tacos--and all the drinks. All told it came out to $9.60 for the 3 of us. Five tacos (remember, I'm on a diet so I just had one--my piggy colleagues had two each) and 3 genuine Mexican drinks with real sugar!

We had a mix of beef fajita tacos and chicken. The verdict: very good.

But I can't wait to take them to El Guero.

So, to heck with the math, lets make it simple. Bruce can take 2 other people for tacos and drinks, have one himself, and do it 20 times with $8 left over.

Next week, I really want to try and find a real, live street vendor--maybe downtown or something. Anybody have suggestions?

Oh yeah. Lighten up Bruce. It was a parking ticket. Go have a taco then sit back and smell the roses!